Christmas is now out of the way, I don't need to transpose any more tenor saxophone parts, compile any more carol services, host any more cavalcade road shows or conduct any more scratch choirs for another eleven months. Hurrah. I loved every second and feel like I know how we can improve next year, brilliant. Now...
I have two jobs, I have time to play with, I have ideas to pursue and brand new books and records to get stuck into. I'm excited about developing as a musician, as a friend, as someone who knows God and someone who considers the things of God. But what to prioritise? I'm getting to know all too well that if you spend life spinning plate after plate you will never become chief trapeze artist! (Incredible circus analogy)
I've been compiling a mental list of all the things I'd love to commit to getting better at this year.
- Prayer Journalling
- Getting back into Classical Music listening.
- Keeping up with my BibleinOneYear.
- Spending more time worshipping in my room, with guitar and without.
- Practising to be a better worship leader
- Prioritising certain relationships and bringing the LORD right into them.
- Songwriting and encouraging others in that.
- Getting back into the habit of reading things that shape me and those around me.
- Blog now and then!
I'm already exhausted at the prospect. Painfully aware that if any of these things are going to 'bear fruit' then there is going to have to be a serious cull in previous activities to allow the things I view as priorities to take shape.
Looking around my room its clear that I love to hoard stuff. Or at least, I find it very difficult to let things go. I own about 20 football shirts, I still use two pairs of trainers I wore at school, phone chargers from ancient and deceased models are stashed away - the list goes on. In life I love to try and maintain about 16 times the recommended amount of meaningful relationships, watch every major sporting event and say yes to and end up heavily involved in every event I'm asked to participate in.
On top of this, the real-time revolution has somehow hooked me into needing to react to every tweet, read every status update and stare at my gmail inbox until the replies roll in. Ridiculous. It cripples our productivity and fills ours heads with stuff we don't really need to know.
We can't expect our priorities to flourish unless we are prepared to be ruthless with all the crap. I'm carried by the grace of a loving Father but I'm also burdened with the responsibility of being faithful with the gifts He's blessed me with. If I was genuinely radical I'd look at this observation I've made and I'd give it all up, make a couple of phone calls and rock up at a monastery tomorrow morning ready for a lifetime of contemplation and solitude. I'm not a true radical though and I don't really believe that these are all bad things to be involved in. I'm just very aware that I binge on them and I'm missing out on becoming the person I could be. I look at the people I admire and their pursuit of God is what marks them out as special. I want to pursue God desperately, to live a distinctive existence that points to Him and I need to constantly strategize and evaluate how I do that.
So to compliment the other bullet points I need to have the self-control to...
- Switch the computer off, you don't need live text updates of Man City vs Stoke - you can read the match report after the game!
- Not spend the whole of Tuesday mornings contributing hilarious puns of Premiership footballers names that sound like vegatables.
- Make hard decisions about which events and people I can really commit too and not feel guilty about that.
- Learn to have my default setting changed from 'check my phone' to 'talk to my heavenly father'.
- Go to bed earlier.
- Have a proper day off
I love living in this age but I won't let it strangle and define me. That's the war cry I feel I have to make if I want to be serious about living for Jesus. It needs to happen in community and in grace.
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
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