2011 - Some Things Must Die

Christmas is now out of the way, I don't need to transpose any more tenor saxophone parts, compile any more carol services, host any more cavalcade road shows or conduct any more scratch choirs for another eleven months. Hurrah. I loved every second and feel like I know how we can improve next year, brilliant. Now...

I have two jobs, I have time to play with, I have ideas to pursue and brand new books and records to get stuck into. I'm excited about developing as a musician, as a friend, as someone who knows God and someone who considers the things of God. But what to prioritise? I'm getting to know all too well that if you spend life spinning plate after plate you will never become chief trapeze artist! (Incredible circus analogy)

I've been compiling a mental list of all the things I'd love to commit to getting better at this year.

• Prayer Journalling
• Getting back into Classical Music listening.
• Keeping up with my BibleinOneYear.
• Spending more time worshipping in my room, with guitar and without.
• Practising to be a better worship leader
• Prioritising certain relationships and bringing the LORD right into them.
• Songwriting and encouraging others in that.
• Getting back into the habit of reading things that shape me and those around me.
• Blog now and then!

I'm already exhausted at the prospect. Painfully aware that if any of these things are going to 'bear fruit' then there is going to have to be a serious cull in previous activities to allow the things I view as priorities to take shape.

Looking around my room its clear that I love to hoard stuff. Or at least, I find it very difficult to let things go. I own about 20 football shirts, I still use two pairs of trainers I wore at school, phone chargers from ancient and deceased models are stashed away - the list goes on. In life I love to try and maintain about 16 times the recommended amount of meaningful relationships, watch every major sporting event and say yes to and end up heavily involved in every event I'm asked to participate in.

On top of this, the real-time revolution has somehow hooked me into needing to react to every tweet, read every status update and stare at my gmail inbox until the replies roll in. Ridiculous. It cripples our productivity and fills ours heads with stuff we don't really need to know.

We can't expect our priorities to flourish unless we are prepared to be ruthless with all the crap. I'm carried by the grace of a loving Father but I'm also burdened with the responsibility of being faithful with the gifts He's blessed me with. If I was genuinely radical I'd look at this observation I've made and I'd give it all up, make a couple of phone calls and rock up at a monastery tomorrow morning ready for a lifetime of contemplation and solitude. I'm not a true radical though and I don't really believe that these are all bad things to be involved in. I'm just very aware that I binge on them and I'm missing out on becoming the person I could be. I look at the people I admire and their pursuit of God is what marks them out as special. I want to pursue God desperately, to live a distinctive existence that points to Him and I need to constantly strategize and evaluate how I do that.

So to compliment the other bullet points I need to have the self-control to...

• Switch the computer off, you don't need live text updates of Man City vs Stoke - you can read the match report after the game!
• Not spend the whole of Tuesday mornings contributing hilarious puns of Premiership footballers names that sound like vegatables.
• Make hard decisions about which events and people I can really commit too and not feel guilty about that.
• Learn to have my default setting changed from 'check my phone' to 'talk to my heavenly father'.
• Go to bed earlier.
• Have a proper day off

I love living in this age but I won't let it strangle and define me. That's the war cry I feel I have to make if I want to be serious about living for Jesus. It needs to happen in community and in grace.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

God showed up

God showed up tonight at Church. I remember just recognising and realising that His spirit was so obviously among us, and I was overcome with wonder - That he was also with others everywhere, that He created everything, the same spirit enabled Jesus to do what He did, wow. The same God wanted to bring me back to him, to the fullness of His vast love, what a privilege that we might be called children of God. that I don't think that every week, but it was so unavoidable that God was kicking about tonight my tiny mind had to attempt to try and comprehend it fully!

Thought of Redman's book "The Unquenchable Worshipper" when he talks about being simply overcome with wonder and just sprinting around the church car park in worship. After eight hours of very average piano playing I decided I'd prefer to be sprinting around in worship like Matt Redman or Eric Liddell, I never did, but the thought was nice...This is inspiring.

"During the songs of worship God really got hold of my heart in a fresh way, and I felt I could explode with love for Him. I was desperate to somehow let this worship out, but singing didn't feel enough...I hurried out of church, forgetting to put my shoes on, and ran round the car park for ten minutes. I must have looked like an idiot. But at the time I couldn't have cared less."

I think when meeting with God in worship leads people to acts of faith and courage that they otherwise would've ducked out of that's fantastic; but for me, when people who are involved in the worship ministry get ideas of other types of worship, there's something special about that. I remember thinking for so many years that Heaven was going to be like a never-ending Soul Survivor festival, as great as that is, I'm now very thankful it's going to be vastly different from that. We were created for so much more than #westernsoftrock! But as long as people come to meet with God through that style lets keep sharpening each other and pushing further in.

God showed up tonight, and he might even have spoken to me (?). How amazing (wish I had a better word) is that? All glory to God who is able. Life's too short to be lukewarm, time to let God show up in me. (that's enough clichés for now!)

Response?

(A few loosely related thoughts on God, and how we understand our own reaction to God.)

One of the buzz words when it comes to worship is response. We respond to God because of His glory, His faithfulness, His love, His revelation and His invitation to us. As we sing about and acknowledge who He is we are moved to respond in surrender and in worship. Agreed?

Expect

People often respond either physically or emotionally when we sing together and the temptation as a worship leader is to suss out when and how these responses occur and to replicate them. Sometimes the heart behind this is great because we simply want God to meet with us and why change a winning formula? Other times we do it because of our own insecurity. We need the affirmation of knowing people have responded to the way we have prepared. Do we ever limit the work of the Holy Spirit with our expectations? He cannot be boxed!

The Church is a body, full of life, as you grow together, you change together. The way in which God wants to speak to us one day could be entirely different the next. How can we be open to this as worship leaders? All become quakers or sing psalms like the free-church? Not necessarily no (phew!) We operate in a multitude of different styles, and time is often short, but I've a sneaking suspicion that sometimes we are significantly limiting in our facilitating of congregational worship. I need as much guidance as anybody here.

We will magnify

We don't need to hype up the Lord of creation, as if His glory could ever increase! The only change we would hope to see when we meet with God is in us, His people. We need to remember that Jesus became our High Priest (Hebrews 5) so that our meagre offerings of praise could even be looked upon by our Holy Father in heaven.

“But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteous acts are as filthy rags”

Isaiah 64.

How quickly we can lose sight of that.

But equally, what a mystery that the same God loves to dwell in our offerings. How he loves to draw near to us and share intimacy with us, He can't get enough of us, wow! (Psalm 22.3)

Point

When we lead (and always) we need to be an example of people who have caught a glimpse of the glory of the Lord, and want to respond to that with our all.

When we truly see who God is, not when we hit the clouds or rock bottom, that's when we become changed into his likeness.

When we recognise His Transcendence we are filled with awe

When we glimpse His Holiness we become full of sorrow, we can't get near Him.

When we remember His Mercy we are overcome with gratefulness.

When we acknowledge His Sovereignty there emerges a peace from a perspective on our lives.

When we try to comprehend His Grace we are bowled over with wonder, what an awesome God, such love, we could never understand.

All we can do is point to him, creatively, enthusiastically, humbly and full of awe.

Not us

It's important that we don't hold ourselves solely accountable for people's responses. Certainly, we have a responsibility, (If we start leading people in Edinburgh with Swing Low Sweet Chariot, we’re unlikely to lead them into God’s presence),but if we prepare diligently and lead faithfully we can do no more.

In the 16^th Century a man named George Whitfield went preaching in the country and was met with extraordinary responses. People were falling over, laughing hysterically and even barking like dogs. His contemporary John Wesley condemned him and recommended that he weed out and chastise the people who were just making ‘fleshly’ responses. However, Whitfield insisted that if he was to follow that route he would suffocate any response at all. 'Let God be the judge' he said. Wesley soon went on to see the same sort of thing happen in his ministry too…

We are called to be faithful in leading the worship of God but there is a point where we have to relinquish any control and it becomes exclusively a matter between the worshipper and God. Know what your role is.

It's all God

Personally I've been pretty humbled as I learn more about the grace of God. Nothing I can offer him is really worth anything on its own. I am so far from His holiness I need to be led by the hand even in my response to Him. It’s been hard to get my head round how unworthy I am, and therefore what a distance He has gone to save me. Our own imperfection means that every sacrifice of praise we make still has to be sanctified by Jesus blood, that it becomes worship acceptable to the Father. The Holy Spirit is the one that draws us to Jesus before we commit our lives to him, we don’t even know how to pray half the time so the Holy Spirit has to finish our prayers off(Romans 8). It’s all God!

Found this quote from Worshipping Trinity by Robin Parry very helpful. (It's still all God, pretty sweet we get to join in the party!)

“Week after week we have to stir ourselves up and offer God his due and, over a period of time, this can exhaust even the most enthusiastic worshipper... We need to be pointed to the worship that Christ is currently offering and join Him in it. Even our response to God’s grace is a response that God has provided us with himself as a gift.”

“Our response to God is a participation (enabled by God) in God’s own response to God.”

This might seem a bit abstract to some of you but for me it has really changed the way I approach God. We think we have it all sorted as we lead others to God and his praise, but we need to be open to learning more of Him. It can often feel very lonely leading people who might be staring blankly at you, or plotting your gruesome death as you sing Happy day again for the 13^th consecutive week. What an incredible encouragement to know that you are joining not only with the angels, but also with God the Spirit and God the Son in glorifying the Father, esteemed company indeed!

Newsong: Your grace does not run dry

Verse 1:
Broken as I am
I still will lift my voice to You
Father I am weary but
Your promise still is true

Chorus:
Your love, never falters
Your patience, amazes me
And Oh, what a comfort
Your grace does not run dry
Your grace will not run dry

Verse 2:
Who can I depend on but
The God who gave His all?
Stepping with Your Spirit, Jesus
I will follow

Bridge:
Jesus, Saviour
Jesus, Healer
Jesus, what a comfort
Your grace does not run dry

Newsong: Don't leave us unchanged

Verse 1:
Lord, we've come to meet with You
To offer our praise unto You God
And to lift Your name on high

So, as we respond to You
Please open our hearts to who You are
Who You are

Chorus:
Our God, is a God who saves
Is a God who saves
We will worship You Jesus
Our response is praise
to your Holy name
Don't leave us unchanged

Verse 2:
Father would Your love overflow and move
Out of Your church into the world
For Your glory and Your fame

We need more, more of Your spirit to declare
Jesus is Lord of everything
Lord of all!

Bridge:
Our response is praise,
We will worship You Jesus

It's your holy name
Don't leave us unchanged.

Let these words be true for me please

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly trust in Jesus’ Name.

On Christ the solid Rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

When darkness seems to hide His face,
I rest on His unchanging grace.
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.

His oath, His covenant, His blood,
Support me in the whelming flood.
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my Hope and Stay.

When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh may I then in Him be found.
Dressed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne.