Open book

Two-service Sundays are always weird, no time to process what has gone on in your head and your heart before about 10pm, by which time you're utterly drained of all emotion and want to go and weep in a corner for no apparent reason.

Not normally into being so #heartonsleeve but I need to start marking occasions if I'm going to progress, mature and not get stuck in endless spiritual groundhog days.

This is what I wrote down tonight (in my 5 year-old scrawl)

• I don't want to be lukewarm, I don't want to be proud, I don't want to show off.
• Refine me Jesus
• Clothe me in white so that I won't be afraid
• Give me a proper and full time heart for the lost
• Give me Your heart!
• Give me eyes to see your kingdom.
• Would you really be my hope and stay, would I give you everything?
• Speak Lord, for your servant is listening
• SPEAK
• It's going to have to be built on prayer.

God showed up

God showed up tonight at Church. I remember just recognising and realising that His spirit was so obviously among us, and I was overcome with wonder - That he was also with others everywhere, that He created everything, the same spirit enabled Jesus to do what He did, wow. The same God wanted to bring me back to him, to the fullness of His vast love, what a privilege that we might be called children of God. that I don't think that every week, but it was so unavoidable that God was kicking about tonight my tiny mind had to attempt to try and comprehend it fully!

Thought of Redman's book "The Unquenchable Worshipper" when he talks about being simply overcome with wonder and just sprinting around the church car park in worship. After eight hours of very average piano playing I decided I'd prefer to be sprinting around in worship like Matt Redman or Eric Liddell, I never did, but the thought was nice...This is inspiring.

"During the songs of worship God really got hold of my heart in a fresh way, and I felt I could explode with love for Him. I was desperate to somehow let this worship out, but singing didn't feel enough...I hurried out of church, forgetting to put my shoes on, and ran round the car park for ten minutes. I must have looked like an idiot. But at the time I couldn't have cared less."

I think when meeting with God in worship leads people to acts of faith and courage that they otherwise would've ducked out of that's fantastic; but for me, when people who are involved in the worship ministry get ideas of other types of worship, there's something special about that. I remember thinking for so many years that Heaven was going to be like a never-ending Soul Survivor festival, as great as that is, I'm now very thankful it's going to be vastly different from that. We were created for so much more than #westernsoftrock! But as long as people come to meet with God through that style lets keep sharpening each other and pushing further in.

God showed up tonight, and he might even have spoken to me (?). How amazing (wish I had a better word) is that? All glory to God who is able. Life's too short to be lukewarm, time to let God show up in me. (that's enough clichés for now!)